An Open Letter to The Oldhams

Day 8/40

Dear Oldhams-

Being an Oldham has shaped me into who I am from top to bottom. It seems like everywhere I go, people either went to school with you or got into trouble with you. I wear my last name like a heart on my sleeve. I am not more proud of anything else about me.

Although it seems like I hardly talk to most of you, I know that you're always there. I think that's what is most special about our family. We don't have to be in each other's business all the time. We let each other exist and when we hear a cry for help we show up, no questions asked. We disagree on some things but choose to look past it because we were taught that family mattered more than anything.

Losing our matriarch seemed at the time like it was going to crush us. It felt, to me, like the world fell apart. And I spent many years thinking that all of you moved past it and I was the only one who missed her. Now, in hindsight, I know that's not true. I know I'm not the only one who still looks for her car to pull up full of presents on Christmas. I know I'm not the only who is excited about something and forgets they can't call her. I know I'm not the only one who has a show or a ball game and remembers that she won't be there.

I think about it a lot.

In fact, it's odd to me to think of all the things that she's missed: weddings, births, graduations, driver's licenses, careers. I had hardly started high school.

There were times I wondered if she would be proud of the woman I am now. What would she think of the direction I've chosen to take in my life.

But now I never question it. If all of us are an extension of her, and I know all of you are proud of me, then I know she would be more proud than anyone. She would be proud of all of us for figuring it out and sticking together, even when we disagree with each other.

So even though I don't talk to you all much anymore, I want you to know that I know that we know that we have each other's back no matter what. We are so blessed to have each other as family members, and my life is so rich because you are in it.

And one day soon, we are going to see the King. And we'll sing In The Garden with our favorite member of the choir, and all of us will sound good. ;)

I love you now as I'm writing this, and now as you're reading it.

-Rebekah Kathryn